A Lent Audit

As some of you may be know I have been laid low with a throat infection this week which has meant I have not been able to get to work.  As someone who is usually going at full pelt and juggling the balls of wife, mother and marketer in the air amongst other things.  It’s been a bit of a shock to find myself with time on my hands and on my own with no energy to do very much other than read, sleep and potter a bit.

At first this didn’t bother me too much as I was feeling so ill and sore that I was just managing the mother role and not much else beside.  But yesterday my throat and the ulcer that has appeared on it moved from feeling like an intense toothache to a throbbing pain.  Still sore but did free my brain to think about other things other than my throat!

We are now in Lent and as I mentioned in a previous blog my husband and I are giving up alcohol this year.  https://fionadranesblog.wordpress.com/2012/02/20/2012-lent-challenge/.  Lent for me is now becoming more important as a time to reflect on my life and my in print on it.  More so than New Year.  Perhaps because New Year just means more months of winter ahead.  Where as the end of Lent means the start of spring and hope and summer beyond.  I think I would make a good Catholic as I do find confession very therapeutic and would find a weekly confession quite a useful process.  And for me perhaps times of solitude and peace means you have  no choice but to think about yourself and just like I do every day in business for clients think of my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats and give myself an annual audit.

Not an easy thing to do as one you don’t often like what you see and have to face and two I suspect as a friend has pointed out before I am rather harsh on myself.  But I do see things in my life that I want to change again.  Having got so much better on buying for need not for want.  I have regressed particularly on the clothes and books front.  Books I am less harsh on myself for but clothes I have enough and need again to curb my spend for many reasons not least as I have a beautiful wardrobe already and when I curbed this habit before I learnt to love it and appreciate what I did have in it.

In the past few weeks I have spent quite a lot of time in my home and instead of enjoying the Victorian house that I live in I have taken the time to criticise things that need done in it such as the now untiled bath where there was a leak and the hall carpet which is now marked with our footsteps and walls with handprints of my kids that needs to be painted.  It’s easy to do this and get fed up that currently we do not have the money to fix these superficial things and forget that I live in a house that has been lived in for well over 100 years with families just like ourselves creating memories and bringing up a new generation of kids in a small beautiful village with a strong sense of community.  A house is rather like a car even when it’s perfect we humans soon live in it and it’s not perfect but that is what we are here to do to live in the here and now not in perfection! Note to self stop moaning!

I have been keeping a notebook of things that I am grateful for read about it in a magazine and have found it a really great way in a daily basis of looking back each day at the positives of the day not the negatives.  It’s useful not just in bad days or in low days but also on a daily basis to realise that things in your life that you are grateful are usually things that don’t cost a thing!

It has also made me think of what I want for the future I confess I have a long-held dream which I am not sure I will ever have the confidence to fulfill.  But time to reflect has made me realise that I need to work on it more and the timing is not right but to hold on to the thought and the dream!

Lent and a throat infection.  A time for an annual audit and a chance to look and see where I am and where I want to go.  And a chance to reflect on things to be grateful for.  Lent 2012 what else will it bring?


About fionadranesblog

40 plus mum of two married with a mad cocker spaniel. Along with two colleagues run Bright Light Marketing a rural marketing agency who specialise in getting rural businesss noticed. www.brightlightmarketing.co.uk. Live in St Boswells in the wonderful Scottish Borders. Love books, walking and living life to the full here in the Scottish Borders though its sometimes a juggle!
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